No Surprise Here.

My most recent "home away from home" was more like a house than a home. I stayed a week by myself up in Minnesota in a house with no curtains, or blinds, or anything to shield the inside from the outside. Of course this situation is a nightmare for any scared-ee cat, especially someone like myself.

The house has no upstairs. There is simply a, "man-cave," in the basement. Ergo, everything I do in that house takes part in the basement (except sleeping, there is a bed upstairs). So, one night I'm alone in the basement finishing up Season 1 of Parenthood (new love) and having a few drinks because I had a stressful day. I completed my "getting ready for bed" routine by checking some of my favorite websites and seeing if anyone was online for a late night chat. Woah!! I have never felt so popular in my life. I was Skyping with my soon-to-be boss, some old friends, video chatting, and being completely overwhelmed/distracted from the darkness upstairs. Thanks friends :)

Then, all of a sudden I hear a loud thud and immediately freeze, mute the TV, and stop breathing. I was sure someone was upstairs and had just broken in. I was speechless and called Jared who didn't answer until I texted telling him what's up. He called back and talked me into going upstairs to check it out and even wanted me to ask, "Hello? Who's here?" (No, I'm not going to ask if anyone is upstairs so they can attack me, so I ignored that suggestion)

I forgot to mention that during my whole stay at this house alone I had a hammer on the nightstand by the bed incase anyone decided to pull a quick one on me. So, I proceeded upstairs (butcher knife in hand) to check out the situation. I turned on every light in the place and found nothing out of place. I returned downstairs, heart still racing, and shut everything down so that I could run back upstairs to go to sleep and get the night over with. As I laid down in bed, I looked outside (on edge as usual) and searched for any sign of movement. I then noticed a fridge in the driveway on it's side. Yup, sure enough it was a stinkin' (literally) fridge that had tipped over in the driveway and scared the beeswax out of me.

Needless to say, I was still scared the entire night and rest of the week. Now, my alone time has moved to a Motel 6 in Illinois...can't say it's much better, but my time of being homeless and alone is almost to an end :)

Song: There Goes the Fear-Doves

Let's try this again.

I know it's been awhile since my last post. A lot has changed in my life and I'm excited to start sharing new stories and adventures with everyone.

I've accepted an Americorps job in Buffalo, NY where I will be tutoring/mentoring 3rd graders in an inner-city school. One weekend out of every month and during the summer months I'll get to take the kids to a summer camp located on Lake Erie. This job is perfect for me. I love summer camp and I'm really excited to start working with kids again.

The transition has been hard. I've left everyone I care about behind and will truly, madly, deeply (Savage Garden song) miss all of you. My past years in the Sioux and in Ames have made me who I am today. You all have taught me to be strong and have pushed me to follow my dreams of moving away. I have no idea where I'd be today if it wasn't for friends and family like you. I can only hope that I will meet new people who are almost as cool as those I've left behind. I said "almost" because I don't know if it can get much better than what I've been blessed with in the past. So, with that said, I want to give a HUGE "Thank you" to everyone who pushed me through the hard times and encouraged me to keep trying. Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU! I love you all.

Feel free to call me as I will do the same to all of you. I know I'll have fun on my new adventure, but I know I'll be stressed out to the max, homesick, and completely lost at times. This blog isn't a "goodbye" but instead a "see ya later" because I know that one day we'll meet up again.

My song of the day: Joshua Radin's "Friend Like You"

A little shout-out

It was recently brought to my attention that I haven't blogged ALL OF JUNE!! So here is a little shout-out to my die-hard readers who missed my blog oh so dearly and scolded me for it:

Whitdawg: Here is a little random animal fact for you that I know you'll love. Whales do NOT lay eggs believe it or not.

Amanda: You're hair is getting too long to form pinecone like structures and I don't like it.

Matt: Hot tamales CAN be passed to one another via a tape measure. Also, people tan better when bare chested so why not try it?

Sidenote, why do my consumers insist on keeping the thermostat set at 61 degrees and then feel the need to walk around in a sweatshirt and pants while I sit in the cold shivering?!?

Now, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from work. "Sarah, how would you like to wrestle another woman in a pool of tequila?" or here's a bonus one, "Sarah, how would you like to try cutting off fish heads?"

You can only imagine my response to both of these.

My Book of Poems

So lately my mom has been wanting me to clean out my room at home. This weekend my wonderful friend Erin and I did just that. We cleaned and sanded down dressers and sorted through tons of old papers. We found some of the most interesting things that a person could hoard: a piece of tin foil, a bow, old high school lunch menus, senior pics, millions of cards, high school and grade school notes, crush matches, and our favorite...my old book of poems from grade school. I will now share with you two limericks from the book of poems.

1) There once was an old lady thats fat; who lived in a house with a cat; the lady sat down; with a big frown; and now it's goodbye to the cat.  (wtf Sarah?!? who writes these kinds of things as a child?!?)

2) There once was a young boy named Frank; who loved to go to the bank; he lost his money; it wasn't funny; so he gave himself a spank. (once again...I was just too clever for my own good)

It was a very exhausting day but we had the best time searching through my old belongings and reading about which boys smelled in high school and which girls we hated or what teachers were giving us evil glares. Also, I found my old basketball season totals from 7th and 8th grade...yup, I scored a total of 12 points throughout the season...ballin'

Feeding Frenzy

Yes, it's another story dealing with my work...I'm sorry to entertain you yet again.

I arrive at work at 9am. I get a phone call asking to come into the office for a meeting discussing some issues. Issues?!? What is going on?? Heart rate rising and I'm nervous. What did I do wrong? Anxiously, I drive to the office with my consumer to hash out this problem. I sit there and hear one side of the story and then give my side of the story...what's the problem you're wondering?!?

Yup, that's right, English Muffins. My panicking and increased anxiety was all because of some harmless English Muffins. Apparently I'm a bad person if I don't let people eat what they want in order to help protect them against high cholesterol and obesity. I'm sorry. I'll stop. As for the rest of you let's try to eat healthy and not eat 4 English Muffins at once oozing with butter so much that it's literally pouring off when you take a bite. Thanks, I'll appreciate having my friends around longer. Also, in the end, I still have my job and I was told I'm doing everything fine and that educating is part of what I was trained to do. I still don't know if I'll ever get over this one though. 

Balloon chasing

This past weekend I went to Cedar Rapids to attend my sister's graduation ceremony and hang out with friends. Well, I got a phone call from my friend Jacob informing me of this crazy thing called "balloon chasing". Of course, I said yes and had no idea what i was getting myself into. Here is the story of my balloon chasing adventure...

Team: Me, Parker, Tyler V., Jacob, and Jeannie (Parker's mom).
Location: Meet outside a Baptist Church
Time: 6pm (remember this time)

It's about 5:45pm and I'm at Parker's house. Everyone (except Jacob) loads into the jeep and heads to the church where the balloon will be taking off from. We sit in the car fearfully waiting for what we were getting ourselves into. We wanted to wait for Jacob to show up before we'd get out of the car but unfortunately we couldn't wait for him any longer as we were getting death stares from the other crew members wondering who we were. So, we hesitantly get out of the car and head to the open area. We watch the other crew members set up the basket and then we were told we were moving locations. WHAT?!?! you want us to get into two cars with random strangers and take us to an open field?!? This scenario was slowly turning into my nightmare...so, we piled into one car with strangers and took off. On the ride over to the field I felt safe because I was in the way back of the SUV and thankfully I had a tire iron in between my legs for safety. If anyone wanted to pull a quick one on me, they'd have to meet my tire iron friend first...

We arrive at the new field (note: still no Jacob) and still have no idea what we're doing. So slowly they start showing us what to do and teaching us about "ballooning" and the ways of this secret hobby. Everything is going smooth and we're trying to make the most of the scary situation we're in by joking about playing "parachute" with the balloon and then getting scolded by another crew member...oops. The pilot then says he needs someone to come over and help him. I made a rookie mistake by volunteering to go over and help. My job: hold onto the rope and keep the mouth of the balloon open while the pilot filled the balloon with hot air. There I was with no gloves (Jacob had them) holding onto rope that was burning my hand and flames were shooting next to me. I already hate fire so when the pilot told me it was going to be loud and hot my heart rate skyrocketed. The whole filling up the balloon with air was going smoothly until the balloon wanted to rise off the ground and my foot started slipping...it was at this moment that I needed help and looked like I was going to pee myself (see pic).

So, Ted (crew member), came to my rescue right as we lifted the balloon up. We all held the balloon down to the ground while the pilot told us what the plan was. It was bout 6:45pm (no Jacob) and we were all getting ready to take off and follow the balloon that we just released into the air. Once again, we were told to pile into cars with strangers as we drove around the Cedar Rapids area chasing this balloon. FINALLY, we get a phone call from Jacob saying he overslept and was on his way. Jacob showed up after all the hard work was done and we were piling into the car. Of course right when I saw Jacob's car I bolted from the stranger's vehicle and ran to Jacob's car and yelled at him to get in the car and drive. Sure enough, Tyler and Parker were right behind me running towards Jacob. Poor Jeannie (Parker's mom) was stuck in the other car with Ted...oops. And off we were to chase the hot air balloon we launched. 

    

We followed the balloon and helped catch the balloon when it was landing. I was warned that you do NOT want to get in front of the basket to catch it because it was 5,000lbs. of force coming at you. You know once I heard that warning I stayed as far away as I could. So, for my first ballooning experience, I'd say it was pretty successful. I really enjoyed being dramatic and joking about "chasing the balloon" as if it was a tornado (the balloon moves 1mph...). It was a very interesting experience and someday I'll make a documentary entitled, "The Secret Life of Ballooning". 

I give up

I'm sorry I have failed all of you or that one person who reads this post. It's been a long time and I never finished my spring break update and truth is, I don't think I'm going to. Bottom line: I had an AMAZING time and just don't want to think about how much I miss the beach.

Now I just read an email (a forward that my mom sent me) and thought it would be very rude of me not to share some of these humorous real life experiences with my friends, so here goes:

1. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
2. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
3. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
4. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
5. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
6. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
7. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

Andddd my personal favorite: There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

**I'm not sure who the genius is that wrote these but they are so true and there are quite a few more in the email so if you want the full version, just shoot me a message. Enjoy**